Verbally talking about this is so HARD, which is why writing makes it a little easier and helps to get my feelings across a little better.
What it means when a mom says “I just feel like I can’t keep up”
I know what you’re thinking… “What do you mean by you just can’t keep up? You’re home all day, you should be doing just fine!” Well, this is the third, fourth, maybe even the fifth time I’ve cleaned today, the second to third home-cooked meal I’ve made today, the third or fourth snack I’ve made today, the billionth tears I’ve dried and have cried myself… some over nothing and some over something. My life feels fast paced but in slow motion at the same time, I don’t know of any other way to describe it. My Postpartum anxiety and postpartum depression strikes without warning and without any need, how I fear that it will never end!
A mother saying “I can’t keep up” is a sign for HELP! She needs help! She doesn’t ask because, she’s the mom, she’s here all the time, it’s her job, someone has to do it and any other “excuses” people can seem to come up with. Don’t get me wrong, I’m a strong ass woman, I have been all my life and I’m in no way wanting sympathy but I see so many other moms battling the “I can’t keep up train” and enough is enough! PPD AND PPA is NO JOKE! It’s rough, it’s hard and so many of us are told to just suck it up! They say “here let me put you on this medication or have you tried this medication or have you tried getting out of the house?” I’m sure most are like me and can say “Of course, I’ve tried everything I can possibly think of!”
So why are we this way? It’s so simple… we’re exhausted, we’re alone/lonely (or at least we feel that way) we’re scared, we push people away and not on purpose. These crazy freaking hormones and chemicals racing inside our brains do not help! We cry, get angry, feel hopeless and unworthy of love, friendship and help. Then the panic attacks set in, we stop eating as much or over eating… add on the lack of sleep/insomnia because your brain won’t shut off or the thoughts of what all you have to do tomorrow and that’s enough to drive anyone to a breakdown!
What can you do for a mom that simply says “I can’t keep up!” Don’t ask just do. If there is dirty dishes in the sink… wash them. Laundry? Wash, dry and fold them. Kids/babies all over her? Give her a few minutes alone, let her go in the room to breathe and not be touched, give her a hot, noise free bath or shower. Cook or get take out. The biggest thing of all don’t say anything just give her a big hug and let her cry it all out. Let your body and arms be the magnet that draws out some of the stress, anxiety and depression. Let her know you’re there for her and not just with your words but with your actions. Mom life is 24/7, no breaks, no pay, no time off. We deserve a break, we deserve some time to decompress and start over. Be that restart button for her, she is only human and even if her cup is empty she still finds a way to pour a load into everyone else’s cup.
Moms don’t be afraid to tell your story, you’re not a horrible mom for the feelings, depression and anxiety you have. It DOES NOT define you as a person, a mother, a wife/partner, a family member or a friend. Don’t be so hard on yourself and when you find yourself in the darkness please reach out to someone… anyone! I may not be of much help as a mom who struggles myself but I could be that listening ear for you!
So much love,
Telisha❤️
Omg yes times a million you hit it the nail on the head mama!
VERY well said! Loved this so much! I went through PPD after having my son, & you are right…it is no joke. It’s so tough, and at times it makes you feel like “this is the new you”. Thanks for sharing girl!
Thank you so much, you’re so right.
I love you for sharing this mama! I turned to medication that I was prescibed to cope with my PPA/PPD and became addicted. Then I had more shame to deal with. Thankful to be on the other side but I so wish I had someone like you to talk too back then, maybe I would have reached out for help sooner. So grateful for this community of moms! Thank you 🖤🖤🖤
Oh Tara, that’s absolutely awful, it’s one reason why I’ve stuck to more holistic ways and it may not work all the time but I have close family with addiction issues and I’m always scared it’d happen to me as well. You’re so amazing for not only overcoming it but also for speaking about it. I know that has to be hard! It’s been an absolute pleasure getting to know you and I’ll definitely be a listening ear for you ANYTIME! ❤️❤️
Thank you mama! I just adore your heart and can’t wait to get to know you more. You are such a special soul ♥️
I love this so much I could have written it myself. I had PPD and PPA. I still have anxiety but got a grip on the depression for now. It is exactly as you say. Noone can know it unless they have lived it and all the while I beat myself up for being ungrateful for all my blessings. But I was so grateful for my children I really just needed support and a break. I’m a listening ear too if you need it ❤️
🙌🏼 So grateful for you overcoming it girl, I’m sure the anxiety will never go away as having children always comes with anxiety as they age. I can totally relate as I feel that it has become just a “normal” for moms to feel these things when it shouldn’t be. Thank you for sharing some of your story!
❤️
I didn’t experience PPD with my son, but it’s something that should be talked about more. Sometimes the hormones after having a baby are hard enough, so I can’t imagine. I really appreciate you shared this!
Thank you so much for your sweet comment, I’m so glad you didn’t get it and I pray you never do!
Girl you are truly amazing. Love your blog ❤️
Thank you very much!